


Everglow

by thingyoudowiththatthing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Heartbroken Dean, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 07:02:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15019250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingyoudowiththatthing/pseuds/thingyoudowiththatthing
Summary: It takes place after the events in the season 12 finale. Only difference is Destiel was a thing for years before this. The fic is also heavily inspired by Coldplay’s Everglow





	Everglow

The world would never know what it lost that day, but Dean did. Castiel, warrior of heaven, defender of humans, keeper of Dean’s heart.

For the longest of time Dean was completely numb. He didn’t feel it. It couldn’t be true. Castiel was a celestial being and he had always returned to Dean. No matter how many times he had left him, he would always return. Except this time Dean had knelt down by his lifeless vessel, starting at his angel’s wings burnt into the ground. Castiel was gone. Dean knew that, and still he refused to accept it.

For the longest of time he pretended it hadn’t happened. That Cas had gone to see Heaven about some urgent matter or that he had stubbornly gone on a case on his own. For the longest of time Dean had imagined him return. Out of the corner of his eye or as a reflection in the mirror, but each time Dean turned around with a smile to greet his angel, Cas wasn’t there. Cas would never be there again. Sam and Dean had burned his body; given him a hunter’s funeral just like he deserved. Castiel was no more and Dean would never see his best friend and love again.

Dean sat on his bed one night when it truly hit him. The room he had shared with Cas felt empty and lonely. The angel who with lion’s strength had fought his way into hell, watching his brothers’ fall as they fought their way through an army of demons, pulling Dean’s soul from hell, leaving his eternal mark on it. With the grace of an eagle, Cas had navigated through the chaos on Earth, causing Dean to fall deeper in love with him every day. Castiel had stood up for humanity when no other angel would. He had believed in free will and in Dean to lead and find the right path. Even when his faith in himself had wavered, he had never done anything he didn’t believe was for the good of humanity. The best for Dean. No matter his mistakes, Cas had helped save the world time and time again. So how could it go on without him. How could the world keep spinning, the cars keep moving, the birds keep singing when Cas was no longer here and Dean could barely breathe.

Dean felt cold and alone, surrounded by the shadows in his mind, blaming himself for his loss and feeling as if he deserved the pain and loneliness. Cas however deserved to be alive and not just through the part he had left with in Dean when he pulled him from the pit. The little light, the spark of grace that warmed Dean’s soul and would help him go on. Cas would always be part of Dean, he would be with him forever, but Dean still missed his angel so much, he could barely breath. See, Dean hadn’t just lost his love, he had lost his best friend.

Dean knew life was fleeting and everything around him changed as fast as the winds. Only he had never expected to be the one having to go on. Cas had lived millennia without Dean and he would live millennia without him again. The thought of Cas being alone and without him, had always hurt Dean, but Cas was stronger than he was. He had just smiled, reminding Dean that he was an angel. He would visit him in heaven and they would never truly be without each other again.

But now they were. Now Cas was dead and Dean had no place to visit, no way to reach out for him and see him again. Dean was alone and Cas was no more.

Dean smiled as Castiel pushed back the chair Dean was sitting in from the table, before straddling his lap. Dean’s hands instinctively found their way to his angel’s thighs as he looked up at him with eyes sparkling like emeralds.

“You need to rest Dean,” Cas firmly reminded him and Dean couldn’t help but smile a little wider, squeezing the angel’s thighs.

“Do I?” Dean asked teasingly, before Cas placed his hand against Dean’s shoulder where the angels handprint had once graced his skin. It was no longer visible, but Dean still felt it when Cas touched him, the warmth within his soul and the serenity that fell over him.

“I can feel you,” Dean had whispered then for the first time, almost embarrassed to let Cas know, but the angel had just smiled.

“I know. I am apart of you Dean. I’ll always be with you,” Castiel promised.

Dean knew he had been right, pressing his hand against his shoulder he still felt it. The grace Cas has left as part of him. This feeling would be what kept Dean alive. This everglow deep within his soul where Cas would live forever.

“I feel you Cas,” Dean whispered out into the empty room. “I still miss you, you know? I am so sorry I couldn’t save you, sunshine.”

“Why are you apologizing, Dean?” Cas’ deep voice sounded from the doorway, making Dean jump to his feet, spinning around to face him. He was still there. He didn’t disappear when Dean looked right at him. Messy hair and blue eyes staring right into his soul.

“It wasn’t you fault what happened. No one could have stopped Lucifer. Not even you, Dean,” Castiel’s soft voice calmed Dean’s raging mind for a few seconds before it went into overdrive yet again.

“How? It can’t be you. We burned your body… What are you?” Dean took a step back, ready to jump for the angel blade hiding under his bed, but Castiel moved quicker. He knew Dean better than Dean knew himself. Cas laid a calming hand on his shoulder and Dean felt the warmth surge through his body just like he always did whenever Cas touched his shoulder, his grace connecting with the grace he left behind within Dean’s soul. Cas didn’t have to speak, Dean knew when their eyes met, but he still needed to hear his voice again. He needed the confirmation this wasn’t his mind playing a cruel trick on him. He needed his angel to tell him, he really did come back to him yet again.

“Cas?” Dean’s voice almost broke, uttering the three letter word, but Castiel simply smiled.

“It’s me Dean,” Cas reassured Dean and that was all the hunter needed. His arms wrapped around Cas the same second Cas closed his around Dean. They just stood there for what felt like hours, clinging to each other for safety and comfort. Cas was the first to pull back a little, but only to meet Dean’s lips in a soft, deep kiss. A kiss that told Dean that Cas would never leave him again, that he was sorry that he ever did and no matter what happened, Cas would always keep his promise. The angel would always return to his hunter.


End file.
